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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Random notes

I wrote this for you. I scribbled it out in the dark corners of our isolation rooms. Squirreled away at the pages of our story being told all around us. Tried to bring our characters back into the plot. Made lists upon lists of quotes about love and studied its nature with the goal of healing. You.

I have watched the dawn come up through the blinds of these hospital windows not knowing where I am or who I am or where we are going but always knowing the beat of your heart. It's needs. How to love you.

I have scratched and crawled and cried and chanted and begged and called forth all the energies within me in order to hold you. Hear you breath one more time. A million, trillion times over. Breath myself into you, into your cells which have been rejecting me, rejecting life.

I have whispered secrets of love and longing into the DNA of your blood to will it back to me. To wait in that place of mystery and potential that is faith and see what you decided to do. In what way you required love, its shape shifting in the shadows of all the noises of this foreign land. Beeping drip stands, chemical smells and the cries of so many small little beings. Crying out for life and love and freedom.