Day 1 Steroid

We have been struggling with very little sleep (I have had about 5 hours over the last three nights collectively) and just getting by. This is no different really to the last 5 months, except that it has an accumulative effect over that 5 months. So I am just getting by, putting one foot in front of the other and trying to sleep any moment I can.

The sleep deprivation is likely to get even more challenging as Oscar started the steroid today. The Dr's generally try to talk things up and keep positive so when they tell you its going to be a hard couple of months they usually really mean it. Day 1 on the steroid and Oscar is already violent, angry and full of mood swings. I physically could not hold him down to get a nappy and clothes on him this evening, he was that strong and angry. He swings from wanting something to throwing at you in a split second, then wants it again.

Of course, this is the journey and all I can do is go with it and somehow keep calm and focus on what I can change or help and let go of the stuff that is just out of control. Auden is also waking with nightmares and very unsettled so it is all starting to take its toll on all of us now.

So if we haven't rung you or have dropped out of touch its just because we are just barely hanging on right now. No doubt it will pass so hang in there with us. I will update you on Oscar's status later this week. Send us your positive calming vibes please and take care. x